The first order of business was food. Everyone likes food. What kind of party would it be without free food? Anyway, there was pizza and some other bullshit that some of the others brought in. Everything was great until Megavitamin tried to give me a shoulder-rub while I was trying to eat. That bastard wants to get promoted so badly; I think I'll dock his pay.

After food, they surprised me with my very own birthday clown that I got to shoot with this awesome looking gun:

Lock and load, baby.

As if getting to shoot a clown wasn't enough, they even brought in a pinata and a metal bat. I've never had so much fun crushing someone's bones:

My favorite past-time: Killing Night Elves.

I mean, I was surprised anyone knew that Night Elves were my favorite thing to kill! I guess they picked up on the constant gay inuendo and negative portrayal.

After we ate what was left of the Night Elf and the blood was cleaned up by the janitor, I had everyone in the office take turns beating me off as a sign of dominance. Anyone who refused was fired. Unfortunately, the head count wasn't lowered and I'm going to have to think of more creative ways to fire my employees.

When the party was over it was nearly 10am, so I let everyone go home early; they had earned it. Later that night I went out to a bar and totally fucked these two sluts and did not get herpes.