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Are you in a muddled relationship? Is it going nowhere? Do you want your significant other to die in a significantly-sized fire? Do you want to break it off but are afraid of hurting him or her? Have no fear.
Introducing the Breakup Cake:
Even gives new meaning to "bittersweet"!
Nothing says "let's see other people" like a delicious, frosted cake with "it's over" written on it in icing. In fact, my brother was going out with a girl who was a top contender for the Miss Stupid and Bitchy title. He wanted to end it, so I gave him one of my cakes. The breakup was so fun and tasty that it ended up being the happiest day of his life.
Don't you want to live the happiest day of your life? Say it with one of Myroid's deserts and "give her the cake".
The secret behind the Breakup Cake is simple: everyone loves cake. Even when confronted with something as emotionally shattering as an ending relationship, anyone can enjoy some frosted goodness as demonstrated by the following example:
Asshole: Hey honey... I have something for you.
Bitch: What is it, darling?
Bitch: Oh... oh my God, you're breaking up with me?
Bitch: I don't know what to... hey, is that vanilla?
Asshole: You bet it is! Straight from the Myroid-Type Bakery. It's hearthbreaking AND delicious!
*Bitch stuffs her maw*
Bitch: Holy shit, this is great.
Asshole: Man, this IS delicious. I should have broken up with you months ago!
Another happy ending! Buy your own Myroid-Type "Breakup Cake" today! It's the secret to eternal happiness.
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