Some even have the audacity to imply that the game is certainly NOT completely free to play by offering you "free" items in game. If you're willing to spend cash on a free internet game, you suck. I saw a news story the other day about some kids who got busted for stealing thousands of dollars in... virtual furniture. What kind of stupid clusterfuck of idiocy is that? Virtual furniture? I'm not sure if the idiots who bought it or the retards who stole it are the worse people here. Apparently the site also gets millions of subscribers--looks like it's time to admit I don't understand people.

After seeing the same bland bullshit countless times, I've decided to rebel with my new website.

Firstly, I will not buy ad space for my super sweet game. I'm emo and underground--I don't want that corporate, super-sleek image. Even if it does sell.

Second, nowhere on the Millie Megavolte website or in the game itself will there be any reference to the word "free". It's an annoying gimmick I'm tired of seeing. The game will of course be free to play, but I want it to be assumed, not shoved down your throat. Most of the shit on the internet is free anyway.

Thirdlike, no player-to-player interaction at all. Millie Megavolte will play like a single-player console game ported to teh interwebs--one of the older consoles that had no idea what an ethernet cable or WiFi was. Everything on the internet these days forces you to interact with other players, and it's a well-known fact that I hate playing with other people. So none of that healthy interaction crap on my game. There might be a forum or something though so I can get feedback on the site and game.

Fourth, I will try to make the explicit version of the game as hilariously offensive as possible. Watching cartoon characters say naughty words and make jokes about pedophilia make me laugh. There's not eough of that today in mainstream media. Plus it's a welcome break from the ho-hum dialogue of most games in the genre.

People who play the "clean" version will suffer though. I just plan on removing all the swears and replacing all the jokes with lame stuff. I'm not clever enough to write clean humor. Well, that and I just don't find clean humor, uh, humorous.

Fifth, the humor will strive to be completely relevant and non-random. If you find random conversations that have nothing to do with anything or repetitive humor funny, go fuck yourself. I'm sick of that bullshit trend. Any idiot can write it. It takes no talent. Come on already.

Here's to the commercial disaster that will be the Millie Megavolte website!