I've come forward to offer my advice to other people who are dealing with this treacherous ailment. Instead of giving direct advice however, I've decided to show all my secrets to the world by offering up excerpts from my private diary for everyone to read. Enjoy, and good luck.

September 14th, 2006
Dear Diary,
I was hanging out with a bunch of my friends today and I accidentally ripped part of my pants on the staircase! Fucking stairs, they don't understand me. Like you do, Diary. Anyway, one of my friends, I think it was Judith, made the snide comment that it was actually my fat ass that made my pants rip! The bitch! I couldn't bear it, so I just dropped all my stuff right there and ran out crying. I hope the other girls give her shit for it. When I got home, I cried some more and listend to some local music because local music rules, like Broca. I love the guy from Broca, he makes me wet. Really wet. Like, so wet, that my mom came in my room and was like, "what do you want for dinner?" I don't know what she meant by that, but it had to be about how wet the singer from Broca makes me. The guy from Broca would never call me fat. I love you, Diary.

September 15th, 2006
Dear Diary,
Judith was at it again today! She kept saying stuff like "I'm sorry", "I didn't mean to hurt you", or "why are your pants so wet", but I knew behind it all that she was just jealous that the Broca guy would like me more, and that she still thought I was fat. Well, I wouldn't have any of it, so I clobbered her right in the kisser and said, "Ha! Who's fat now, you dirty slut!" Then she started crying because she was trying to get rid of her slutty reputation, and that just made it worse. Oh well. If you didn't want to be called a slut, you shouldn't have been porked by so many guys, princess! I love you Diary. Also, MTC rules. If I wasn't the guy that made it, I'd fuck him. I don't love him more than you Diary, don't get jealous like Judith did of me for having the Broca guy like me more. Oh shit, I'm so wet.

September 20th, 2006
Dear Diary,
Broca had a show tonite!!! I went with Leslie and it was really cool... until I tried to talk to the Broca guy back stage. I learned his name was Farley. Farley! What a sexy name. Not like me though... when I got backstage, Farley said, "who's the fatass?" I ran out crying, but on the way I accidentally knocked into some obese guy standing by the door. Fat asshole, everyone is always in my way. I don't know what to do, Diary! What can I do? I mean, I'm a monstrous 110 lbs! Farley doesn't like me! Maybe if I were skinnier... yeah! I'll just not eat anything! I can't gain weight if I eat stuff! I mean, I already eat like two apples every day, they make me so full. Everyone might be worried about me though Diary, so we'll have to keep this between us, okay?

October 5th, 2006
Dear Diary,
It's totally working!! I've only eaten a carrot a day or even nothing and I'm losing weight like crazy! I'm a less-hefty 70 lbs now. Take a look!

October 13th, 2006
Dear Diary,
Today my friends had an intervention for me. They kept saying stuff like "you're so skinny" and "you have anorexia, honey", and "just eat something, you dumb bitch", but I just told them all to fuck themselves then ran up to my room to cut myself to relieve all the stress I was under. Then I had a cookie. I told everyone that they broke my spirit and that I'm going to be fat forever, but they told me I won and that I'm on the road to recovery. I then told them I was kidding and that I'll never eat another thing ever again ever, so they grabbed me, threw me on the floor, and crammed my face full of fattening food like celery and pork. I told my family that I hated them but that pissed them off even more, and I was like OMG, why don't you guys have sympathy, I'm so fat? So I just laid there and cried and tried to force myself to choke, but they kept reviving me, the bastards. If I ever meet that Himlick guy I'm going to kick him in the nuts! Yeah!

October 14th, 2006
Dear Diary,
I found out that my sister was writing in you, so I had to kill her. She couldn't bring herself to eat something. I mean, how stupid is that? Then she somehow made a page on my site that made it look like I was the one with anorexia. As if! I dunno where she got that picture of me. Also, I totally fucked Judith. I love you, Diary.